I Never Came Back
by JSMac
Summary: When Link returns to Ordon Village, he is filled with mixed emotions. He cannot stand to live in such a quiet, isolated place as Ordon after four years of bloody battle, but he also cannot abandon the one he cares about most: Ilia.


**So this is me, trying to be all tragic and romantic. Emphasis on the word trying. This is my first romantic one-shot, and I really don't know how this is going to turn out. So, did I succeed in conveying the heart-felt emotions of the characters, or did I fall flat on my face? Please review to let me know how I did!  
**

I've seen a lot of pain. I must've killed several thousand intelligent beings during my quest to save Hyrule, and they all had that mortified look of agony a split second before they died. I despised seeing that look. It wasn't a hateful look, but rather a pleading look, one that begged for life and mercy even though they were already doomed, impaled on my sword. But none of the creatures that I killed had such a pained expression as Ilia when I left her.

I don't know why I left her. I don't know what I was going to do. I just thought I wasn't suited for village life anymore. My quest had lasted four adrenaline soaked years full of battle and bloodshed, with barely a moment to stop and breath, in which I rarely even ate or slept. I was running on adrenaline, just adrenaline.

When I had killed Ganondorf, I immediately headed home to rest. I was looking forward to it. I slept in my house for three days straight. I had dreams, twisted, complex dreams of my quest and what it did to me. When I awoke, she was there, sitting at my bedside, smiling at me.

She crooned soft words to me and held my hand. She spoke of how courageous I was and how I had accomplished the impossible. She sang soft songs that caressed my ear and told me of how we could return to our old life, untroubled by the workings of the outside world. Nostalgia and confusion flooded my mind, and I began to weep. She was so innocent. She was innocent of the suffering that I had been through and the suffering that I had bestowed upon so many. She was innocent of the way it felt to see others carry on with their trivial lives while I risked mine to save them. She was innocent of the emotions that had engulfed me as I saw Midna shatter the Mirror of Twilight and I watched the other half of me dissolve into dust, carried with the beloved Twili as she was swept away, back into her realm.

Ilia was so innocent. She had spent the whole time in Kakiriko Village, oblivious to the violence and horror happening in the outside world. And yet, despite her obliviousness, she managed to comfort me as I lay there in bed as if she had seen and experienced everything alongside me.

As I stepped outside with Ilia still clutching my hand, light flooded my eyes. I shielded them with the unoccupied hand and waited for it to clear. When it did after what seemed an eternity, I was tackled by a wave of nostalgia. I was actually here again, in Ordon Village. My old life was back. I was no longer the hero of Hyrule, but instead just a simple farm boy. I would spend my days herding goats and playing in the forest and entertaining the children. My knees almost gave out from under me and I began to sob again.

Ilia wrapped me in her arms. "Oh, Link, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. But now you're here and I'm here and we're safe again. No more monsters. No more pain. Just us."

I gave in and hugged her back. We stood like that for a long time. Tears poured from both our eyes until Fado ran to the base of my ladder and called to me. "Yo! Link! You get your butt down here now! Just 'cause you're some hero don't mean I cut you slack!" I looked down. Fado was smiling. I almost smiled too. Maybe I could live a simple life in Ordon village without bursting into nostalgic tears every few seconds. Maybe it was possible.

Then I looked back at Ilia's beautiful, innocent face and did something I hadn't had the nerve to do during all the years before my quest. I kissed her. It was a gentle kiss. I barely brushed her lips with mine. She lightly exhaled and I could smell her sweet breath for just a second. My eyes were shut and very close to hers, so close I could feel her delicate eyelashes flutter shut and tickle my eyelids, ever so softly. I drew back, and without another word, headed to herd the goats as I had always done.

I lived in Ordon Village for about a week. I tried to pretend that the quest had never happened and lived as I had for all those years before. I appeared at peace to everyone. I was once again Link, the village boy. But at nights, when everyone else was asleep, Ilia would visit me and I would tell her of all my pain and the trials of my journey, and she would listen. She would listen and then she'd assuage me with kind words as gentle as the kiss I had placed upon her sweet lips.

Ilia's visits helped a little bit, but they couldn't obliterate the restlessness that stirred within me. It was like an itch, the thought that I didn't belong here. I kept having dreams reliving the events of the past and I couldn't let go of the fierce, brave Link I had been for four years. By the end of the week, I was restless. I couldn't stand it anymore. HHHow could I live here and not go insane? I could feel it as I walked through the village, the feeling that at any moment something might pounce on me and I would have to draw my sword and spill its blood. I was constantly on my toes, waiting for something. Anything. I was waiting for an enemy to slaughter, but none ever came.

That night, when Ilia visited me, I exploded into tears. "I can't live like this anymore! I've seen too much! I feel like I'm stuck in the past!"

"You are not stuck in the past," she whispered. "You are living in the present and you have a future. We have a future. "I heard her words and nodded, but I didn't believe her. This was the past, and I knew it. And I needed to get away no matter how much I loved her, no matter how much I adored my Ilia.

The next day, in the early morning, I went and knocked on her door. Ilia answered it and gazed at me kindly, affection shining in her eyes. I didn't know how to tell her. I didn't know how to break the news to her without breaking her heart. I opened my mouth and stammered, gazing back into her affectionate eyes. "Yes?" she asked. Her voice was filled with care. I was her treasure, her loved one, her universe.

Finally, I managed to get it out. "I'm leaving," I said flatly. I turned around and trudged up the hill toward my house and my horse. I would wear the Hero's Clothes. I would bear the Ordon Sword and the Hylian Shield. I would mount Epona and I would be off, riding once again through the land of Hyrule.

"Now you stop right there!" she yelled. She ran after me, grabbed me, and spun me around to face her. "What do you mean you're leaving?"

I sighed. "Ilia, you don't understand. I just…can't stay here."

"But you've only just come home! You can't leave like this!" I turned my eyes downward, ashamed. Now I had her angry. I didn't want her angry. "You look at me right now!" she screamed into my face. She grabbed my chin and yanked it upwards so that I was forced to stare into her eyes. Her innocent face was contorted by fury, and below that, concern. "You can't just abandon me like this! I am not letting you go, no matter what you say!"

I took a shaky breath. She was still glaring at me furiously. I reached out with my hand and tenderly stroked her cheek. I saw her hard expression melt and she once again gazed at me with love and admiration. I had a sudden flashback of Midna, stroking my cheek just like I was stroking Ilia's, and asking me if I'd stay with her despite her undesirable history. I had gladly told her that yes, I would stay with her and I'd fight to the death for her, and that nothing she said would ever turn me away from her. But now, here with Ilia, I knew that I would leave her even though I loved her most, more than I even loved Midna. Sadly, I leaned my forehead on hers and whispered, "Goodbye, Ilia." I then turned and walked away.

"Link! Wait! Stop!" she wailed. She hurried after me and tried to turn me around again, but I shrugged her off. "Link, please, stay! Don't do this!" I climbed the ladder and entered my house. "Just tell me where you're going! Are you leaving Ordon? Why? Oh, Link, Why?" I pulled out the Hero's Clothes and started to undress. Ilia turned away politely but continued her pleas. "Link, I don't want you to go! Stay here!" Now that I was back in the familiar clothes, with the familiar weapons weighing down my back, I headed out the door.

"Link, why are you doing this? Everything's perfect here! You can't leave, you can't!" I mounted Epona smoothly, directed her towards the forest, and looked back at Ilia one last time. Her emerald eyes were filled with tears. Those innocent, pleading, beautiful eyes begged me to stay, and I knew that if I left it would tear her apart. Now I knew how Midna must have felt.

How long were we there, just staring into each other's eyes? I don't know. It might have been only seconds. It might have been minutes, it might have been days, it might have been eons. "I love you," she whispered. The words pierced my heart like a dagger. How could I leave, abandoning one who needed me, who adored me so much? And how could I stay, trapped in a past I didn't belong to? I was truly distraught. I gazed into those eyes, those loving eyes, and contemplated her words. She loved me. And I knew I loved her back. But I couldn't stay. "Please?" was her last shaky word before I tore my gaze from hers, spurred my horse on, and rode into the forest.

I never came back.


End file.
